My Flower Shop The Ups, Downs and the Love

This is a harsh rant that belongs solely to me. Kinda a love note, too.

I am in the floral industry and we have what are called wire services. These consist of ( what the average consumer knows them as) 1800Flowers, Ftd, Teleflora, From You Flowers, and any other outsourced call centers that  are not brick and mortar flower shops with inventory and designers. As a new shop, it is vital to be aligned with at least one of these Satan seeds in order to promote your work. Relying on walk in traffic as a new, unknown florist, in a town that no one knows you, is almost impossible. The wire services lure new, unsuspecting floral shop ownesr in by promising the world, but only to receive approximately 68% of the order value. That doesn't sound half bad, but then you must pay a fee to be aligned with the Devil and fees on top of more fees. So if my shop receives an order for 45.00, you would think I would get at least 30.60, right. NOPE! It takes at least 30 orders at that price to even make 200.00, after fees. You do the math. Well, I will make it easy for you...45.00x30=1350.00... I receive 200.00,( sometimes if I am lucky and we don't get punished for not sending orders through them. Yep, that's right, they punish the shops for not being busy enough, or for having smart customers who know how to use the Internet. I told you they were the Devil.)I may get close to 400.00, but that is highly unlikely.

These are just some of the costs of having a new business. The other is the competition. My competition isn't just your average, "I'll just keep doing my thing", kinda business, it is, "I will set you on fire, rip your guts through you nostrils, and pour gasoline atop you as you scream". kinda business(closely related to the Devil, possibly?). And to think, before I was a business, we were friends. Funny how things work out.

The other thing is your time. Yes, there is no such thing as time off if you have a new business. I knew that from the beginning and was fine with it, actually revelled in it. And then, there were kids. 3 to be exact. I am not in any way upset or discouraged because if it, but it sure does make for interesting days, evenings, and the love of Sundays. Most Sundays any way. We went from an empty nest, to raising our three grandchildren. Wouldn't change it for the world. But boy howdy, are we super freaking busy now.

Ok, so I know you're asking, how the heck do you do it. Well, some days I just don't know. Some days it's all I can do just to be there. And some days, the days that remind you why you have put yourself through every minute of it. Those are the days. The days you see some one smile, or they say, "I always call you, you make me look good", or "That was perfect, it looks like you read my mind." and "You, yes YOU are my favorite!". That is why. The why is because, in the short time I have been in this town, I have managed to run some off, enlighten a few, and gain the best customers and friends any woman could want.This little town ROCKS, and it's because a few of you gave me a chance, and then your friends gave me a chance. All I need is a chance. I know I'm not every one's flavor, but kinda like coffee, I have different blends.

So back to the rant. Please, call your local florist and leave the wire services out of your order. Local vendors are always best.

I love being a business owner, even when it keeps me awake at night. I want everything to be perfect and my expectations are unbelievably high. So on that note, no more ranting, and a little more, get off my ass and start meeting my own expectations. Can't wait to see you guys!

https://www.ghfstudio.com/

Surrender

I've been thinking a lot about surrender lately. It just seems to be lurking aroung every corner and why it is so LARGE in my mind.

I was talking to a friend last night and she is fighting a battle with her son. It is a life or death battle, and unfortunately, meth is in her son's corner, holding on tight. I told her that I had zero advice for her all I could do was offer a shoulder, let her know I knew what she was going through, and tell her most importantly, I loved her.

What needed to be said was this. "You can fight, scream, yell, beg, plead, bargain, and threaten, and none of that shit matters a damn bit. You can tell them, you know more, you can show just cause for this belief, and you can even share the fact that NOTHING in this world has EVER caused you more pain than their burdens and heartache. You can beg them to believe that you would go to the ends of the Earth for them, beg, borrow, steel for them. But NONE of it matters. NOT ONE BIT. The hardest thing as a parent you will ever have to do is surrender. Surrender the fight, the pull and push of their demons. Because, when you get down to the nitty gritty of it, it is not our fight to fight. And if it is something they are not willing to do, everything you have done, the tears, the screaming, begging, slamming doors, picking them up, letting them fall, is all for nothing. You have to surrender."

I know most parents say, "Oh no, that's my child, I can't give up on them!" Who the hell asked you to give up on them. What I am saying is that you have to let them figure it out. If the go to prison, rehab, live or die, it has to be their choice. You cannot, nor ever will be able to stop another human being from doing what it is they truly want to do. The only thing you are doing, while being a co-dependent, is causing more hurt, and enabling them further. You may not think so. But as long as you are busy trying to MAKE THEM do the right thing, they still have someone to blame, and I promise, it is not them.Parents, I assume, are all a bit co-dependent, so it comes as no surprise, that we fight so hard for our children. But 99.9% of the time, it is all in vain.

I have 3 children, none of which are perfect, but 2 did an amazingly good job at screwing up their lives. I fought, I screamed, I cried, I cried a lot, and not one bit of it mattered. The youngest, I surrendered, and much to my amazement, he is alive. The oldest, well lets just say, nobody really knows, only God. My middle child, he is doing good stuff and I am happy with the choices he's made. But more importantly, he is happy and thriving.

I am just relaying what I know. relaying what I've been through, and what I know worked. Doesn't mean that surrendering wasn't the most horrible pain I have ever felt but it also allows you to heal. And honestly, some days, I still get it all wrong. But at least my brain is pointed in the right direction, and some nights, I actually sleep. Life has finally started to open up again. I can do things without feeling guilty. I am doing things for me and the family (one of my children left behind) again. We talk, have fun, but most of all, WE  live.

Life isn't easy, and with all the evils in the world now, it just makes it harder for our kids to be strong. But fighting their battles will NEVER make them strong. Surrendering your right to fight their fights, knowing that it just might all crumble down around their ears is hard, but I don't think there is any other way. We can still be there for them, but we have to be able to remove ourselves and let them live.