Sheep and Serpents

As I have said before, these are just my thoughts, scattered, mundane and sometimes tiresome. That's why I find this blog therapeutic.

I recently had what I thought was a friend message me to say she was thinking about me, and when my name came up at work (where she has my old job) she searched hard to still see the good in me. Well, isn't that just a high hill of nonsense. And, we must not forget the and, she saw good in me when I didn't see it in myself. Ok, everybody have their boots on? Oh, and she hoped the message found me well and with a glass of wine in my hand.

Oh serpent heart hid with flowering face. Yes, serpent! Let me shed a little light on this whole situation. If she were truly a friend, she'd know I haven't had a drink in almost a year. Not only that, she and her cohort, did everything they could to remove me from that old job. At the time, it broke my heart. But little did any of us know, I was onto bigger and better things. You also must keep this in perspective, this was over 4 years ago. So to feel as if any of those people mean two plops and a bug to me now is just absurd. What's even more absurd, is this simple girl with her smiles and lies always thought I believed her. NEVER did that ever happen. She started that, get rid of Helen, ball rolling the moment she walked herself into that business. And it still it takes 2 girls to do what I could do. So, whatever right? WRONG!

I have no idea why anyone at that place would even want to discuss the vileness they called Helen, among other names I am sure. Because, before that, I honestly hadn't really given them much thought. I occasionally would see pics of their work and usually like it. Truth be told, I don't like much of what they do, but it didn't matter, everyone deserves a kind word or thought. But no more. Me being nice to such loathsome humans is over. I should have cut that cord and let it be. I don't need them and they don't need me. But we all know after so many years it's hard to let go. But I guess it needed to be done.

But now to get to my point. I am a fairly reasonable human being and I often forgive just because forgiveness is much easier that holding onto all that. But it also wasn't just forgiveness, it was still holding on to what I knew, no matter how painful it was. I loved those people, and they were kinda like the family I didn't have anymore. But then I realized, that was all in my head. They in fact didn't care for or like me a bit. I was only as good as I was useful. When I didn't agree, and just take it on the chin, it was time for me to leave. So, I left.

I've opened my own business, my family is thriving, I am happy. So why now? Why open all that darkness up, just to make sure I know they don't care about me? Did they somehow think I was looking for their approval? Well now is time to set the record completely straight. I lied when I was there to keep someone else's secrets safe, I saw things, heard things, and know things that I will never tell. But I will tell you this, I never want to go back into that dysfunctional daycare! Island of misfit toys is safe from the evil villain lurking 60 miles away. I don't give a damn if the whole thing went up in smoke tomorrow, I have lost NOTHING there other than a little dignity. They asked me to leave and that is exactly what I did. I got on with my life, and my life is so much better now.

I look forward to getting up in the mornings and coming to what I created. Blood, sweat, tears and a lot of hard work and tenacity have brought me to where I am. I almost feel as if they are looking for me to apologies for being happy without them. I wanted to keep a door open, but I see now, that is impossible. By the way, just a little note to that girl who tried to see good in me, look in the mirror, its you that needs the good, I am doing just fine. And remember, I know who you are through and through, sooner or later your sheep's skin will fall away, and everyone will see what I saw.

So now off to lock up the front of MY STORE,  have a royal time closing the store for someone else!

My Flower Shop The Ups, Downs and the Love

This is a harsh rant that belongs solely to me. Kinda a love note, too.

I am in the floral industry and we have what are called wire services. These consist of ( what the average consumer knows them as) 1800Flowers, Ftd, Teleflora, From You Flowers, and any other outsourced call centers that  are not brick and mortar flower shops with inventory and designers. As a new shop, it is vital to be aligned with at least one of these Satan seeds in order to promote your work. Relying on walk in traffic as a new, unknown florist, in a town that no one knows you, is almost impossible. The wire services lure new, unsuspecting floral shop ownesr in by promising the world, but only to receive approximately 68% of the order value. That doesn't sound half bad, but then you must pay a fee to be aligned with the Devil and fees on top of more fees. So if my shop receives an order for 45.00, you would think I would get at least 30.60, right. NOPE! It takes at least 30 orders at that price to even make 200.00, after fees. You do the math. Well, I will make it easy for you...45.00x30=1350.00... I receive 200.00,( sometimes if I am lucky and we don't get punished for not sending orders through them. Yep, that's right, they punish the shops for not being busy enough, or for having smart customers who know how to use the Internet. I told you they were the Devil.)I may get close to 400.00, but that is highly unlikely.

These are just some of the costs of having a new business. The other is the competition. My competition isn't just your average, "I'll just keep doing my thing", kinda business, it is, "I will set you on fire, rip your guts through you nostrils, and pour gasoline atop you as you scream". kinda business(closely related to the Devil, possibly?). And to think, before I was a business, we were friends. Funny how things work out.

The other thing is your time. Yes, there is no such thing as time off if you have a new business. I knew that from the beginning and was fine with it, actually revelled in it. And then, there were kids. 3 to be exact. I am not in any way upset or discouraged because if it, but it sure does make for interesting days, evenings, and the love of Sundays. Most Sundays any way. We went from an empty nest, to raising our three grandchildren. Wouldn't change it for the world. But boy howdy, are we super freaking busy now.

Ok, so I know you're asking, how the heck do you do it. Well, some days I just don't know. Some days it's all I can do just to be there. And some days, the days that remind you why you have put yourself through every minute of it. Those are the days. The days you see some one smile, or they say, "I always call you, you make me look good", or "That was perfect, it looks like you read my mind." and "You, yes YOU are my favorite!". That is why. The why is because, in the short time I have been in this town, I have managed to run some off, enlighten a few, and gain the best customers and friends any woman could want.This little town ROCKS, and it's because a few of you gave me a chance, and then your friends gave me a chance. All I need is a chance. I know I'm not every one's flavor, but kinda like coffee, I have different blends.

So back to the rant. Please, call your local florist and leave the wire services out of your order. Local vendors are always best.

I love being a business owner, even when it keeps me awake at night. I want everything to be perfect and my expectations are unbelievably high. So on that note, no more ranting, and a little more, get off my ass and start meeting my own expectations. Can't wait to see you guys!

https://www.ghfstudio.com/

Surrender

I've been thinking a lot about surrender lately. It just seems to be lurking aroung every corner and why it is so LARGE in my mind.

I was talking to a friend last night and she is fighting a battle with her son. It is a life or death battle, and unfortunately, meth is in her son's corner, holding on tight. I told her that I had zero advice for her all I could do was offer a shoulder, let her know I knew what she was going through, and tell her most importantly, I loved her.

What needed to be said was this. "You can fight, scream, yell, beg, plead, bargain, and threaten, and none of that shit matters a damn bit. You can tell them, you know more, you can show just cause for this belief, and you can even share the fact that NOTHING in this world has EVER caused you more pain than their burdens and heartache. You can beg them to believe that you would go to the ends of the Earth for them, beg, borrow, steel for them. But NONE of it matters. NOT ONE BIT. The hardest thing as a parent you will ever have to do is surrender. Surrender the fight, the pull and push of their demons. Because, when you get down to the nitty gritty of it, it is not our fight to fight. And if it is something they are not willing to do, everything you have done, the tears, the screaming, begging, slamming doors, picking them up, letting them fall, is all for nothing. You have to surrender."

I know most parents say, "Oh no, that's my child, I can't give up on them!" Who the hell asked you to give up on them. What I am saying is that you have to let them figure it out. If the go to prison, rehab, live or die, it has to be their choice. You cannot, nor ever will be able to stop another human being from doing what it is they truly want to do. The only thing you are doing, while being a co-dependent, is causing more hurt, and enabling them further. You may not think so. But as long as you are busy trying to MAKE THEM do the right thing, they still have someone to blame, and I promise, it is not them.Parents, I assume, are all a bit co-dependent, so it comes as no surprise, that we fight so hard for our children. But 99.9% of the time, it is all in vain.

I have 3 children, none of which are perfect, but 2 did an amazingly good job at screwing up their lives. I fought, I screamed, I cried, I cried a lot, and not one bit of it mattered. The youngest, I surrendered, and much to my amazement, he is alive. The oldest, well lets just say, nobody really knows, only God. My middle child, he is doing good stuff and I am happy with the choices he's made. But more importantly, he is happy and thriving.

I am just relaying what I know. relaying what I've been through, and what I know worked. Doesn't mean that surrendering wasn't the most horrible pain I have ever felt but it also allows you to heal. And honestly, some days, I still get it all wrong. But at least my brain is pointed in the right direction, and some nights, I actually sleep. Life has finally started to open up again. I can do things without feeling guilty. I am doing things for me and the family (one of my children left behind) again. We talk, have fun, but most of all, WE  live.

Life isn't easy, and with all the evils in the world now, it just makes it harder for our kids to be strong. But fighting their battles will NEVER make them strong. Surrendering your right to fight their fights, knowing that it just might all crumble down around their ears is hard, but I don't think there is any other way. We can still be there for them, but we have to be able to remove ourselves and let them live.

 

Learning as I go

I haven't posted anything in this blog for quite some time now. I only write to make me feel better, but if along the way it helps someone else, well then, good!

So opening a business, this month makes 2 years, has been one lesson after another. I have had to learn not to prepare for the worst, prepare for nothing but the best. Preparing for the worst actually allows you to set your sights low and not do the things to invite the good. Like telling myself not to stock the shop with fun things because it won't sell. Don't spend on exotic, different types of goods, because I need to make sure everything is just so. Uggggg. the list goes on and on. Knowing my customer base is important. NOT SO. In a new business, you don't have a customer base. You are trying to obtain a customer base.. Oh my God, the agony. LOL

I really got wrapped up in trying to be like my competition, instead of letting what I do best shine. This small town that has NOT received me very well and is a hard nut to crack. I thought after a year I would be either closed or making a killing. Well neither of the two has happened. I find that I get customers and I lose customers, and then, they are back again. I have been trying to adapt to what  "I think" they want or need from me. I guess it could be labelled as fitting in. Well, I don't. But...there is always that "BUT". Seriously, I really don't fit in this tight nit community. So, now I have decided to make it work for me.

Yep, my silly self is going to stand strong on the belief that I cannot imitate, I have to be true to myself, my art, and my passions. Having this business for any other reason (well, to make a living) is sure suicide. I started in the knowing that I was different, unique and talented. Giving back to the community what God gave me to share. That's all I really know for sure.

The other lesson that I am pretty sure of...Is the value of my talent and my product. I always let people bargain with me because I was so desperate to make a sale. What I do, my knowledge and my product have REAL value. I am learning to stick to my guns with this in mind. I am not desperate, and acting that way has really undermined my store.

We opened this business with $600.00 in our pockets and have managed to build it into what it is. It isn't where I want it, but we are on our way.  I am going to keep pushing forward, and embrace my quirky weirdness and make this the best flower shop for miles around. I didn't start to stop.

So if you are ever in the south, look for the unique little flower shop, with the owner that really acts like she has a screw or two loose.. I promise, it is worth the stop.

P.S> I have to add this. I know for sure, other shops are rumor mills. Well not here. The ONLY thing that I concern myself with is making a delivery on time, making it beautiful, AND making sure my customer is happy. All the other nonsense, I don't have time  for..And besides, my brain doesn't retain that crap.

Yes, I did.: Wedding Planner???? To have, or NOT to have, THAT ...

Yes, I did.: Wedding Planner???? To have, or NOT to have, THAT ...: As you all are aware, I am a florist and have planned and executed weddings from all aspects. But, more times than not, a planner has been b...

Wedding Planner???? To have, or NOT to have, THAT IS THE QUESTION

As you all are aware, I am a florist and have planned and executed weddings from all aspects. But, more times than not, a planner has been brought in on the wedding by girls who believe throwing away money because someone said to is a great idea. Not that I am apposed to all planners, but more times than not, they are horrible.

Something has gone terribly wrong in the world of wedding planning. The girls and women who are now showing up on the scene, lack manners, skill, and their ego's far surpass their abilities. I believe these girls are getting into the world of wedding planning because of a stupid movie that made it look glamorous. Well, there is NOTHING glamorous about planning the day for your bride. It is a lot of hard work, nerves of steel, and strategic planning for the unplanned! Being an asshole to other vendors does NOT make you look like you're smarter, it makes you look like a bitch that will surely make your name spread like wild fire because no one wants to work with you. There are 2 such planners on my list  to date.

Being in the floral business for years (over 30) means that more likely than not, I have been in this business longer than most wedding planners have been out of diapers, OR picked up the planning career after retiring from a NOT SO FUN JOB! I think it is wonderful if what you do for a living is also your fun time. Sure does make your work life a lot easier to deal with. But in that respect, you can't hand off your duties when it becomes not so fun, especially if you have been paid for a whole job.

Planners, HEAR ME. We of the wedding industry do not find your bad behavior cute, nor do we like being second guessed on what we know works. Talking down to any other vendor is NOT acceptable. We are there for the same reason you are, to make the bride and everything about that day shine! One more thing, taking credit for what the other vendors do, not cool either, especially if you are a "DAY OF" planner.

You may thinK that I am anti-wedding planner. I am not. I have met some seriously wonderful wedding planners. But, yes, they are few and far between. Believe me when I say, if any of your vendors wrinkle their noses at the name you throw out as your "PLANNER", or the price goes up because of where your wedding is and who is helping you, ask WHY! There is normally a very good reason. No vendor wants to turn away business, but sometimes, being compensated at a really high rate is the only way to go when it comes to working with unreasonable planners.

Want the name of great wedding planner in Charleston? Tannis Jackson! Trust me, she may not remember me, but I remember her, and she is everything you need in a planner! Take your vendors seriously, none of us want anything but for your event to be perfect. And sometimes that may mean switching planners or cutting them loose all together. Good luck, and happy wedding!

Yes, I did.: TESTING, THIS IS JUST A TEST

Yes, I did.: TESTING, THIS IS JUST A TEST: I'll start. I was given up for adoption May 6, 1967 by K. Thomas, now K. Gaddis. I have one biological brother who is 11 months young...