Sheep and Serpents

As I have said before, these are just my thoughts, scattered, mundane and sometimes tiresome. That's why I find this blog therapeutic.

I recently had what I thought was a friend message me to say she was thinking about me, and when my name came up at work (where she has my old job) she searched hard to still see the good in me. Well, isn't that just a high hill of nonsense. And, we must not forget the and, she saw good in me when I didn't see it in myself. Ok, everybody have their boots on? Oh, and she hoped the message found me well and with a glass of wine in my hand.

Oh serpent heart hid with flowering face. Yes, serpent! Let me shed a little light on this whole situation. If she were truly a friend, she'd know I haven't had a drink in almost a year. Not only that, she and her cohort, did everything they could to remove me from that old job. At the time, it broke my heart. But little did any of us know, I was onto bigger and better things. You also must keep this in perspective, this was over 4 years ago. So to feel as if any of those people mean two plops and a bug to me now is just absurd. What's even more absurd, is this simple girl with her smiles and lies always thought I believed her. NEVER did that ever happen. She started that, get rid of Helen, ball rolling the moment she walked herself into that business. And it still it takes 2 girls to do what I could do. So, whatever right? WRONG!

I have no idea why anyone at that place would even want to discuss the vileness they called Helen, among other names I am sure. Because, before that, I honestly hadn't really given them much thought. I occasionally would see pics of their work and usually like it. Truth be told, I don't like much of what they do, but it didn't matter, everyone deserves a kind word or thought. But no more. Me being nice to such loathsome humans is over. I should have cut that cord and let it be. I don't need them and they don't need me. But we all know after so many years it's hard to let go. But I guess it needed to be done.

But now to get to my point. I am a fairly reasonable human being and I often forgive just because forgiveness is much easier that holding onto all that. But it also wasn't just forgiveness, it was still holding on to what I knew, no matter how painful it was. I loved those people, and they were kinda like the family I didn't have anymore. But then I realized, that was all in my head. They in fact didn't care for or like me a bit. I was only as good as I was useful. When I didn't agree, and just take it on the chin, it was time for me to leave. So, I left.

I've opened my own business, my family is thriving, I am happy. So why now? Why open all that darkness up, just to make sure I know they don't care about me? Did they somehow think I was looking for their approval? Well now is time to set the record completely straight. I lied when I was there to keep someone else's secrets safe, I saw things, heard things, and know things that I will never tell. But I will tell you this, I never want to go back into that dysfunctional daycare! Island of misfit toys is safe from the evil villain lurking 60 miles away. I don't give a damn if the whole thing went up in smoke tomorrow, I have lost NOTHING there other than a little dignity. They asked me to leave and that is exactly what I did. I got on with my life, and my life is so much better now.

I look forward to getting up in the mornings and coming to what I created. Blood, sweat, tears and a lot of hard work and tenacity have brought me to where I am. I almost feel as if they are looking for me to apologies for being happy without them. I wanted to keep a door open, but I see now, that is impossible. By the way, just a little note to that girl who tried to see good in me, look in the mirror, its you that needs the good, I am doing just fine. And remember, I know who you are through and through, sooner or later your sheep's skin will fall away, and everyone will see what I saw.

So now off to lock up the front of MY STORE,  have a royal time closing the store for someone else!