kindness matters

I have noticed lately that kindness is either taken for granted or mistaken for a flaw. None of which is true. We all deserve kindness from our fellow man, but more often than not we do not get it. I am sure it is all because of the first sentence I wrote.

As humans we learn so much by action. You put you hand on the stove and it's hot, you probably wont make that mistake again. You lend a friend money never to see the money or what you thought was your friend again. Time after time we are burnt, and usually because we were kind or ignorant.
Well I believe it to be the latter.

Ignorance is bliss isn't it? As long as we proclaim we didn't "think" such a scenario would occur, we by reasoning can claim "ignorance". Ignorance is in no way to be confused with insanity or stupidity, right?  Wrong!!! 

Let's , for the sake of argument throw one of these scenarios at the wall and see if it sticks..Are you with me? Okay then let's proceed.

I, being of what I assume to be of sane mind and body, ask someone I think a great deal of for help. Now let's say, 9 out of ten times, I have been let down by this person. But because "I" want to trust this person, I believe, yet again, this person will do what she says she will do. Can I now, once again being let down, claim ignorance to the fact this person is unreliable? Well of course not. But who is to blame here. Me, knowing that I can't count on this person's word, or the person who keeps breaking the commitment? I have to argue, it would most definitely be "ME".

I know by now you think I am off track, but stick with me, you'll see my most undeniable point surface soon.

ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME, and me again and again. That's usually the basic need of most humans, to, as always, satisfy a need to please, ME. Not me silly. Each one of us think of ourselves first. If you ask someone for help, it's for you. You help someone, then they owe you a favor. It always falls back to the center of your universe....and my friend, we are all guilty. The center of our universe is usually ourselves. I believe in scientific terms, the ID.

Now, here we are at my point. Kindness, yes true kindness isn't about me, or you. It is simply about our compassion for our fellow man. Unfortunately, we are a society that has not grown out of the ID part of our lives. I don't have the answer to why that is, but I can only speculate how it may have happened.

We as parents are not teaching our children coping skills to become adults. We are not letting them take responsibility for their actions, pay their way, or feel their way through raw emotion. It is, I believe, a problem that has to be stopped.

As a nation, we have all done away with basic principles to raising our children. We make excuses for everything they do. I for one am tired of hearing issues are because of their mom or  dad. Really? You are forty years old, can't keep a job and still blame your parents for being a sorry excuse? We have to take back our rolls as parents and parent our children, or unfortunately the ID's of the world will never know how to be kind or compassionate. It's through mistakes that we learn.

So now, what did I do about my STUPIDITY? Well, because I became angry, I knew I could no longer be kind, so I stepped away. The person suffering from the ID complex is someone that I failed. I always made excuses for her, always stepped in and tried to fight her battles. In retrospect, because I failed, I tried to overextend myself on her behalf. She learned from me, she didn't have to be responsible, and hurting people was no big deal, I would always make an excuse for it. It is and will remain all about her until she grows out of her ID state I created.

People, if we don't start taking back parenting, and stop letting this crazy world dictate to us it is acceptable to make excuses for our children, kindness and compassion may be lost forever. I can't live with that.

I will forever try, to show kindness and compassion where ever I can. I will try harder, even if it is a bit uncomfortable, to recognize ignorance and stupidity for what they truly are. But most of all, I will let  my children take responsibility for their lives. I want nothing more for them but to be kind and compassionate humans, and that is where they must grow out of their ID complex. That is a journey only they can make, without excuses.

So in closing, my kindness? To love without fail, but to let go because the lessons they learn will teach them to, love without fail.